There is no greater blessing on earth than a good marriage.  In Christian marriage, two people grow more and more one with every passing year. They are "fellow heirs of the grace of life" and they are more than happy to share. Each is helping the other on the way to eternity.
 
Please Talk to Me
 It has been claimed that "One hundred percent of the people seeking professional help for their marriages have problems of communication." In our world, the power to send and receive messages reaches around the globe (even out into space), and this information is available in seconds! Yet, husbands and wives are unable to successfully communicate across the breakfast table. "Please talk to me" is the request and basic need in many homes.
Communication is a rich source of blessing. What a joy it is to talk and listen!

The lack of communication multiplies our problems as it destroys bridges over which we need to travel. An old farmer had trouble guiding his mule, but said nothing. When asked why he didn't speak to the mule, he responded, "That old mule kicked me five years ago and I ain't spoke to him since." Marriage offers companionship, and this is impossible without communication. People can be lonely in a crowd or in a marriage. Lines of communication should be carefully built and maintained in the home. "People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges" (Joseph E. Newton).

Communication is more than just speaking. How well do we listen? The Scripture admonished us: "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (Jam_1:19). While a senator, Lyndon Johnson had this sign in his office: "You ain't learning nothing when you're doing all the talking." Listening is essential to communication. Parents often fail to really hear what their children may be saying. Teenagers run away from home "because it is the only way they know how to cope with a family that has forgotten how to listen" (Fred Gross). Listening has a way of saying-"To me, you are an important person. I appreciate you, I accept you, I love you, and I want to hear what you have to say." It is only by listening that we can correctly respond.

Perhaps the single greatest difference regarding sex between animals and sexual relations between human beings is that human beings are able to talk to each other. This means that they can express special affection, love, fondness, gratitude and respect for each other in a way that no animals can.

The all-wise God specifically designed lovemaking to be this way. Remember, this love is a type of the same love that Jesus Christ feels toward His Church, as well as a type of the love that God and Christ hold for all of mankind (John 3:16). The Bible is filled with places in which Christ expresses His love for His disciples and for His Church—His affianced bride.

Now think of it this way: First, recall that above all that God is, He declares that He “is love” (I John 4:8, 16). This means that everything that He does is based on and motivated by love. 

Nine Suggestions for an Ailing Marriage

1. Never consider divorce an option. It is not a solution to your problem. Divorce is not an acceptable alternative because God says it is not.
2. Do not compare your mate or your marriage to others. There is not another person on earth like you. Your mate is also unique. This means that your marriage is unique. Let God make it what He wants it to be. He will make it perfect!
3. Forgive your mate. You are to forgive as Christ has forgiven you. You are a sinner. He or she is a sinner. You are not perfect-so be willing to forgive one another. And do it right away before any bitterness can build up.
4. Stop all criticism. Love does not criticize and find fault. Therefore, if you are critical of your mate, you do not have a heart of love. Stop all criticism. Instead, try a little praise. It works like magic!
5. Start communicating with your mate. Communication is completely broken down in many homes and marriages. Start listening to what your mate is saying as well as to what he or she is not saying. Break down the barriers by being vulnerable. Try saying, "Honey, what is the biggest fault I have?" Then say, "Would you please help me, by the grace of God, to gain victory over that fault?"
6. Refuse any relationship outside your marriage in which affection is sought or given. This substitute could even be a relative, a friend, or a neighbor. Do not seek to make someone else a substitute for what you are not getting in your marriage. You will never solve your problem doing this.
7. Trust your mate. Trust your spouse, even if he or she is wrong -you are right in trusting. A marriage must be based on trust. It cannot survive without it.
8. Do something every day to please your mate-something that you know will bring your partner joy and happiness. This is not asking much-to do one thing-but it pays big dividends.
9. Thank God every day for the 25 best qualities in your mate. Write them down. Concentrate on them and the positive will soon outshine the negative

Marital Turmoil

Once a housewife asked her husband if he minded escorting her out to the garbage can. He asked why she would make such a silly request. She replied, "I just want to be able to tell the neighbors that we go out together once in a while." Marriage is a give-and-take proposition, and a wise couple soon realizes that each must give more than was thought during courtship.
Too many mates fritter their lives away and burden others by supposing they have insurmountable problems within their marriages. But Paul reminds us: "Wives, submit to you husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them" (Col_3:18-19). Unselfish love is the key to successful Christian marriages.

Divorce
Although one in every two married couples ends up divorced, certain categories of marriages have a much higher success rate. A national survey revealed that when two criteria are present-the couple attends church, and they pray together at home-there was only one divorce in one thousand marriages!

How Husbands Can Emotionally Meet Their Wives' Needs
When did you last tell your wife, "I love you?" When did she last hear those words that are music to her ears-"I really do need you"? Have you recently told her, "Honey, I think you are a really good mother for our children?"
The vast majority of wives are starving for verbal affirmation from their husbands. And most men are so thoughtless and insensitive that they will not give their wives what the wives desperately want and deserve.
We husbands gladly encourage our wives to buy food and grudgingly encourage them to buy clothes, but most who come to counseling just cannot dig deeply enough to give complimentary words. So, marriages are unfulfilling, wives feel unappreciated, and many marriages wither and die.
Husbands, speak up! God expects you, as the head, to do more than provide financially for your wife. He wants you to also provide for her emotional well-being.
Whisper it, write it, or shout it-just get those words of affirmation to the ears of your wife.

What Glues Husband and Wife Together?
 Two surfaces are held together  on  two pieces of glass,  is almost impossible to get them apart and difficult to separate ,  until they are almost completely  ground down in a floor or flat surfaces.  If you let God rub down the rough edges in you and your spouse, nothing will be able to tear you apart.

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May God Bless !
with prayers,
HolyMatrimonial.com Team